Ignophobia – Nathan Mallory's Weblog

Sometimes you just need to let it out.

So when the tea kettle is about to boil over the top, you flee to the warm sanctity of a cave. You curl into a ball of your irrational and unfounded thoughts and emotions, the things too personal to tell anyone but the person you feel them for, but you cannot say to them either out of fear. So you bottle them up, and as you bottle them, they begin to build up, weighing on your mind and heart until they come bubbling out your eye sockets in tightly clenched diamonds of night. And when there is no one else to hold you hold yourself, and you squeeze the life out, the toxic fears away…

Until you can make yourself realize, it’s all just in your head.

A letter to my future self…
Am I still happy, I began,
Have I grown up nobly?
Have I become a good man?
Am I still friends with Jamie?
I’m sure that we’re still laughing..
Aren’t we?
Aren’t I?

Hey there to my future self
If you forget how to smile
I have this to tell you
Remember it once in a while

Ten years ago your past self
Prayed for you happiness
Please don’t lose hope

Oh what a pair, me and you
Put here to feel joy, not be blue
Sad times and bad times, see them through
Soon we will know, if it’s for real…
What we both feel

Though I can’t know for sure how things worked out for us
No matter how hard it gets, you have to realize:
We weren’t put on this earth to suffer and cry.
We were made for being happy.
So be happy… for me… for you.
Please.